E-Coli, Anyone?!

Count me in!

That’s right, kids: we’re headed to the Lake of the Ozarks for year trois of our annual summertime debauchery. This year, 13 of us will pile into the 5 bedroom house on the water and boat that we've rented for the weekend. We have packed literal carloads of every type of artery-clogging, terrible-for-you food imaginable. And of course, 15 30-packs of beer. Hopefully it'll be enough.

In addition to beer consumption, there will no doubt be an embarrassing admission or two during multiple rounds of "I've Never...," plus all manner of dreadful behavior meant to secure the Coding Out Award. I won't even try to explain its name...all you need to know is that it is bestowed upon the most ridiculous vacationer of the weekend. There really is a trophy, with an engraved plaque and everything. And I'll be damned if a dude gets it this year. Maybe drinking some lake water would guarantee me the win?

Fug that. Of all the disgraceful conduct in which I may engage this weekend, I hereby solemnly swear that it will not include dipping so much as a pinky toe into that nasty cesspool they're still calling a lake. I’m seriously baffled by the assertion that at 12 times what is considered a "healthy standard," Lake Ozark's e-coli level this year is still within safe swimming parameters! Ummmm - no thanks!

Hope everyone's enjoying a nice, bacteria-free weekend :) Catch you next week...