An Update

I'm sorry that this isn't a good one.

Our visit with Gordon last night was pretty horrific. He had just had a small seizure before we saw him, so they had given him Valium to stabilize him. I had convinced myself that seeing him one more time was better than not, regardless, but now I have to wonder if having my last memory of him laying there with a tube down his throat and his tongue hanging out is really better in any way. The vet basically couldn't tell us anything other than what we had heard before, which was that it could go either way, but things didn't look good.

We went home pretty upset and tried to keep our minds on anything else, which didn't work so well. Especially since Louie finally started acting weird...he went and sniffed around Gordon's crate and then looked at me, like "where is he?" He also brought Gordon's favorite toy to bed and slept with it all night...God, dog...way to break my heart! :(

After clearing it with one of our best friends who happens to be a pharmacist (I NEVER take pills - not even Tylenol for a fever), I popped two Benadryl to help me sleep and luckily they worked like a charm. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten a wink.

The latest is that I spoke to one of the doctors this morning right before I left for work, and he had more doom and gloom. He said that Gordon had a rough night and sustained several more seizures. They had him stabilized for now, but I could tell from his tone that he wasn't optimistic...at all. He did say that he's seen these things go either way, and he could still make it...but it would be pretty close to a miracle at this point.

I asked point blank if we were at a decision-making point, and his answer was not yet, but that by this afternoon, if the seizures continue and nothing has changed, we will need to decide how much more to put him through. So we're both preparing ourselves to have to say goodbye later today, and I can't think of a worse feeling.

Thanks again to everyone who is thinking of us...I know a lot of you are as upset as we are :(